her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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