my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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