Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
