Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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