"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
