I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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