READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
