I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
