Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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