So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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