but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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