forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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