Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize