I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
