I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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