yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
