Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
