my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
