Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize