clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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