Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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