its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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