Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
