You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
