Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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