I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
