I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
