i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
