East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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