Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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