I murdered the dance floor call the cops
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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