My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's always time for handjobs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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