i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
