it was like eating out sand paper
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
