Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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