I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
