you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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