Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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