She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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