he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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