I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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