i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize