At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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