He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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