You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
