He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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