Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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