I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
