Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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