theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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