it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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