I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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