omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
