He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
