Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
