Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
